Cursed Wish

The sand was hot beneath her feet, and the sound of the waves was the only soundtrack to the chaos Jake’s life had become. Or rather... Jade, now.

— "Dude, stop staring at me and help me find that damn coin that granted your wish!" she snapped, turning around with a sway that even she hated noticing.

Ryan was still holding his phone, the screen glowing with a ridiculously full bank balance.

— “But look at this, Jade! We’re rich! I wished for money, health, and a woman to love me. And voilà... you’re here. Seems like the universe delivered, right?”

She gave him a death stare.

— “Delivered?! DELIVERED?! The wish was to find a woman to love you, not to turn your best friend into one!”

Ryan raised his hands, defensively.

— “Hey, technically… the universe was super efficient. You’ve known me for years, we’ve shared an apartment, pizza… even a girlfriend once, without knowing. All it needed was the perfect body and a hint of romance.”

Jade crossed her arms — a move that now caused all kinds of unintentional distractions.

— “Ryan, if you try to flirt with me, I swear I’ll shove that towel down your throat.”

— “I’m just trying to see the bright side! I mean, just look at you! Tan, glowing, hair like a shampoo commercial, and that booty—”

— “ONE more word about my butt and I’ll throw you into the ocean with a palm tree tied to your ankle.”

He laughed nervously.

— “Okay, sorry. But come on, let’s think. If we find the coin again, maybe I can wish everything back to normal.”

— “Uh-huh. And last time you tried, you tripped, and the final wish turned me into this.”

— “Poor execution. It happens. Siri distracted me.”

She sighed and started digging through the sand with her foot, the bikini riding up in ways that made her cringe.

— “You should be helping me, not drooling. Do you know how hard it is to walk around without getting catcalled now? Some old guy just offered me a ride on a jet ski like it was a ticket to heaven!”

Ryan scratched his head.

— “But, like... do you love me? ‘Cause that was kinda part of the deal.”

— “Love you?! Ryan, you stole my life! If I ever love you, it’ll be just enough to throw you into an active volcano.”

He smiled a little, like he was fine with that.

— “So… there’s a chance.”

Jade looked up at the sky and yelled:

— “WHOEVER’S RUNNING THIS MESS, I WANT MY LEG HAIR BACK!”