The In-Law Disguise

Bea’s master bedroom felt like a trap.

Arthur, trapped inside a young woman’s body and wearing a silk robe that barely reached her knees, paced nervously back and forth. His slender fingers trembled as he held the phone to his ear.

The call rang three times before Bea finally answered.

— Dad? Any progress with the lab’s magnetic aligner? — Bea’s voice came through the phone, except it carried the deep, gravelly tone of Arthur’s own voice.

— Bea! Forget the damn aligner for five minutes! — Arthur whispered, his words coming out in a high-pitched, panicked voice he still hadn’t learned to control. — We have a gigantic problem here. Luke.

— What about Luke? Did he figure something out?

— Not yet, but he’s getting close! He spent the entire dinner giving me suspicious looks. I tried to keep my distance. I told him I had a migraine, but he came over and tried to massage my shoulders. Bea, I froze! I slapped his hand away and ran straight to the bedroom. Now he’s suspicious about this “sudden change in behavior.” He thinks you want a divorce or that you’re having an affair!

On the other end of the line, Bea let out a heavy sigh—the sound coming from Arthur’s own aged lungs.

— Dad, you have to relax. Luke is incredibly affectionate. If you keep acting like an army sergeant every time he gets near you, he’s going to figure everything out. You need to act more like me. Give in to his charm a little so he’ll calm down!

— Give in to his charm?! Have you lost your mind? He’s your husband! — Arthur felt his face burning.

— I know that! But if he thinks the marriage is falling apart, he’ll start investigating. Just... redirect his attention. Be more feminine. Wear something from the closet. There’s a new lingerie set in the bottom drawer that I bought last week and haven’t even worn yet. Put it on, unlock the door, and pretend the hostile attitude was just you playing hard to get.

— I am not putting on lin—

— Dad! It’s for my marriage! Just do what I’m telling you!

Bea hung up.

Arthur stared at the phone in stunned disbelief.

He walked toward the closet on trembling legs. Opening the bottom drawer, he pulled out a minimalist black lace lingerie set that was both elegant and decidedly daring.

His eyes widened.

A few minutes later, there he was.

Arthur stared at himself in the bathroom mirror, cold sweat prickling across his skin. The black lingerie contrasted sharply with his pale, nervous complexion. He struggled to adjust the delicate straps that kept slipping off his shoulders, feeling like the most ridiculous and vulnerable creature on Earth.

— How the hell did I end up here... — he muttered, fighting back tears of pure embarrassment as he tried to figure out how to fasten the tiny clasp at the back without breaking Bea’s carefully manicured nails.

What Arthur didn’t know was that Luke was standing on the other side of the bedroom door.

He had come upstairs to apologize for what had happened at dinner, only to overhear the entire conversation through the phone.

At first, Luke thought it was some kind of bizarre prank. But the mention of the laboratory, the intimate details, and the unmistakable sound of his father-in-law’s voice suddenly made everything click into place.

A crooked smile appeared on Luke’s face.

He glanced at the locked doorknob, then down the hallway. Silently, he headed back toward the kitchen.

He was going to get two glasses of wine.

If his father-in-law wanted to play this little game of disguises, Luke was more than willing to see just how long the charade would last.

Two soft knocks on the door made Arthur’s heart leap into his throat.

— Bea, sweetheart? — Luke’s voice came from the other side, perfectly calm. — I brought some wine. Can we talk?

Arthur went into complete panic mode.

He looked at the mirror, then at the black lace lingerie, and finally at the silk robe lying discarded on the bed.

There was no time to get properly dressed.

Pressed by his daughter’s advice to “give in to his charm,” he unlocked the door with trembling fingers and opened it only a crack, trying to hide behind it.

— Hi... Luke — Arthur managed, forcing his voice higher and producing a smile that looked more like a grimace of pain.

Luke didn’t even wait.

With one firm movement, he pushed the door open with his shoulder and stepped into the room, carrying two glasses of red wine.

His eyes traveled slowly from Arthur’s head to his toes.

The sheer absurdity of seeing his “wife” dressed like that nearly made him laugh, but Luke managed to maintain his best leading-man expression.

— Wow. So this was the reason for all the mystery? — Luke stepped forward, holding out one of the glasses.

Arthur swallowed hard.

If he wanted to avoid suspicion, he had to improvise.

He tried to remember how Bea behaved whenever she wanted something.

“Be feminine, Arthur. For God’s sake, be feminine.”

He accepted the wineglass, extending his little finger in an exaggerated attempt at elegance.

Then he tried crossing his legs seductively, only to nearly lose his balance and save the wine at the last second.

— Well... you know how it is, sweetheart, right? — Arthur let out a nervous little giggle, awkwardly tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. — A woman... um... goes through these phases. One day she’s stressed, the next... glitter and seduction!

Luke bit the inside of his cheek to keep from bursting out laughing at the cheap, painfully exaggerated imitation his father-in-law was making of his own wife.

He took another step forward, backing Arthur against the dresser.

— I’m glad you changed your mind. You were so distant... You seemed like a completely different person — Luke said in a low voice as he moved dangerously close.

Cold sweat trickled down Arthur’s back.

Luke’s cologne was far too close.

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, silently praying for a meteor to strike the house.

“It’s for my daughter’s marriage. It’s for my daughter’s marriage.”

He repeated the mantra inside his scientifically trained mind.

Luke gently took Arthur by the chin.

Arthur froze.

His lips instinctively puckered into a stiff, nervous little pout as he braced himself for the worst.

Luke leaned in and pressed his lips against Arthur’s.

It was a quick kiss, but it was enough to make Arthur’s eyes fly open in absolute cosmic horror.

He stood completely frozen, like a statue of salt.

Luke slowly pulled away.

He looked directly into the scientist’s terrified eyes, took a casual sip of his own wine, and delivered the most wickedly smug smile imaginable.

— You know something, Daddy-in-law? You kiss way better than she does!

The silence that followed was so heavy that Arthur could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall.

He blinked.

His mind struggled to process the sheer short-circuit of that sentence as the wineglass slowly began slipping from his fingers.