The Bride is a Bro

"You're really going to sleep wearing that?"

"Of course. It was packed in the suitcase. This is a honeymoon... technically mine now. It was obvious your wife would pack silk and lace for the trip. She picked all of this herself. And, well... now that I've inherited her face and body, these suitcases are mine."

He let out a long sigh, deliberately keeping his eyes away from the sheer fabric.

"What scares me the most is that you don't seem embarrassed. Or upset. If anything... you look like you just won the lottery."

"Why would I be upset? We already confirmed Aunt Miriam is safe in my gym-rat body. At least this Great Shift put someone she knows in her place. Come on... the whole world swapped bodies today. Things could've turned out a lot worse. You're the one who should be relieved."

"Relieved? How am I supposed to feel relieved knowing the person wearing my wife's nightgown is her own nephew? And you're acting like this is the greatest thing ever... on the very day we got married!"

The young man shrugged, stumbling slightly as he tried to cross his legs. Having a completely different center of gravity took some getting used to.

"Look on the bright side. You can probably still get the marriage annulled for... non-consummation."

"No, I can't! The emergency broadcast this morning made it perfectly clear. The phenomenon was global, one-time, and irreversible. The government has frozen everyone's legal status until further notice."

"Right... I'd already forgotten about the bureaucratic apocalypse."

A mischievous grin—completely at odds with his aunt's graceful features—spread across his face.

"Honestly, Uncle, we got lucky. Our swap stayed in the family. That has to make adjusting easier. Look at the positive side... I could've woken up in Grandma's body instead. Can you imagine carrying all those necklaces around?"

The man buried his face in his hands, utterly speechless.

"You somehow manage to turn an existential catastrophe into a joke..."

"It's a family talent. One that now happens to belong to two people in this room."

He absentmindedly pinched the lace hem of the babydoll between his fingers, testing how it draped, then looked at his aunt's brand-new husband with sincere curiosity, completely free of any ulterior motive.

"But enough about the end of civilization. Tell me something practical..."

He tilted his head.

"So... how exactly is this honeymoon supposed to work now? Because I'm starving... and room service is free."